A Secret to Communication

I knew I said too much. 

She was sharing her heart, but for some reason I felt like I had to have her “fixed” by the time the call ended. She phoned me because she needed help. And, I wanted to really be there for her. To leave her where she was — didn’t feel right.

I offered some advice. I gave her some strategies. Yet, after hanging up — I had a sinking feeling that I said too much. That my words were — input-overload.

In retrospect, she didn’t need my lofty words, but just my care. My heart. My presence with her in the heat of a hard moment.

She didn’t need an answer as much as she needed an ear.

I noticed when I did stay quiet on the call, she had room to pray. I also remember how she seemed to pray her way out of her own hole.

It was my pride that made me want to be a savior.  It is also my pride that makes me unload harsh words on others because of my inflamed emotions. It is pride that feels like it has to have an answer to everybody’s every question.

Humility does the opposite, though. It says less so that God can move more.

“A truly wise person uses few words…” (Prov. 17:27)

Wise people say less and listen more. They weigh words carefully before blasting them like a water gun. They intentionally think about restoring the other person, rather than ripping them apart or giving too much advice. They don’t let their emotions get the best of them.

Wise communicators know they don’t have to respond. They are okay with silence. They give space for others to help themselves. They allow ‘no response’ answers or ‘let me think about it’ approaches so they can release life-giving, redeeming words.

Using less words provides more impact. Where, in your life, might God be calling you to use less words? What would this look like practically?

 

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