Hopelessly Ever After

Hopeless romantic. This person sees the world with rose-colored glasses. They love the thought of love. Every scenario plays out like a scene from a romantic comedy. Even when things go wrong, their imagination can spin it as a plot twist as they anxiously await the happy ending. Something as simple as hearing birds singing can launch them into daydreams.

Hi, my name is Emily. I’m a hopeless romantic.

I was thinking about this term the other day. Hopeless? Thanks. Couldn’t we say something like “optimistic romantic” instead? Hopeless seems better fitted for a pessimist, not someone who is always imagining the best in a situation. In fact, hopeless romantics are more full of hope than most people. Every interaction is an opportunity for something amazing. Every relationship is a potential love story.

I suppose that’s where the hopeless label could come into play. I admit I am guilty of this; you put everything into a relationship and try to make it into the love story you dream of – even if it isn’t. When you put so much time and effort into a relationship that isn’t right for you, all you are doing is wasting time and energy and giving away a valuable piece of your heart. This will directly affect your relationship with God. Daydreams interrupt – or replace – prayers,  future plans begin to cloud your purpose, and excuses follow. You spend less time pursuing your purpose and more time trying to make things work.You spend so much time chasing the ideal relationship that you miss the greatest love story of all.

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
John 15:13

I personally have tried many times to fill a void in my heart that was never meant to be filled by another human. I desperately looked for love, approval and support all while God was actively pursuing me. Day after day, on my good days and bad days, he was there with his arms open – waiting. Make no mistake, it wasn’t because he needed me. He was pursuing me because of a reason far more epic than necessity; he wanted me. He wanted a personal relationship with me. He created me and delighted in me. He wanted to spend time with me. He wanted to help me reach my potential and do things that would be impossible for me to do on my own.

I have always struggled with insecurities in relationships. I was scared to speak my mind with the delusional fear that it would change the dynamic. I would be less attractive, or other women would become more attractive. I knew in my heart that if this was the case, that meant the relationship was not God’s best for me; but insecurity is so good at deceiving. Insecurity tells you that if something is wrong, it must be your fault. Something must be wrong with you. You become self-conscious and paranoid about everything. You have to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting or disappointing the other person. Sometimes you even bend your own rules or discard your own needs just to fit the part.

The problem with trying to be perfect is…it’s impossible. Hopeless you could say.

But your love story doesn’t have to end there. If God is actively pursuing you, there is no need to feel insecure. He sees everything you do, he knows every thought before you think it – yet he continues to pursue you. If his love never changes, then the only thing that is keeping you from it is…well, you.

People seem to feel one of two ways about hopeless romantics. Either they think they are delusional, or they have a sense of heartfelt pity on them. They may admire their vivid imagination and optimism, but they know that inevitably some form of reality is going to alter, or possibly crush, their dream.

I’m writing this to encourage all you fellow hopeless romantics. Your love story is not hopeless – you have just been casting wrong. You can have a relationship so full of genuine love that all insecurities and doubts are shattered. You can be so safe that even death couldn’t separate you. You just have to realize that – just like a classic love story – the person who loves you most has been there all along, patiently waiting. This is a love story so epic that even the Hallmark channel couldn’t have dreamed it. So fall in love with God. Allow him to turn “hopelessness” into happily ever after.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
Psalm 139:13-16

By Emily Meadows
https://medium.com/@ByBreadcrumbs